Beginning with the plot and the structure of the story, what is really appreciable is, first, the beauty of the plot and the subplot (the husband-wife tale) on their individual levels. Secondly, the way the plot and the subplot merge, and gradually proceeds, with all it's highs and lows, paving it's path to a heart-breaking end. Now, one might not exactly call it heartbreaking, for it surely does bring death to one, but also brings life to the other. But we as readers surely feel a certain loss, maybe because grief strikes a more mutual chord universally than happiness does. That also is, because the story started with the girl and the doctor, and closes with the girl's death and the doctor's grief over it and in addition to that his transfer, and that's where we as readers find closure to the story, rather than finding it in the wife's survival. So in totality the air at the end feels morbid.
Moving on, I love how the story subtly presents contrasting and complementing aspects. Contrast first and foremost, between the will to live and the decision to end it all. And you portrayed that in many ways, through the two patients on the adjacent beds, through the girl's own journey in the story in which she first is willing to end everything and even seems to be happy with it, but later on longs to live, for, she finds a reason for it. That brings in the importance of hope, reflected through reason and the potential of love in a human's life. Secondly, contrast in the two marriages, of the doctor and his wife, and of the husband and wife of the subplot. How one sort of feels bound to drag his marital life because of the latent toxicity in the relationship, while the other is ready to do everything in his reach to save his wife. His song speaks measures about the pain he feels because of the fear of losing her. Lastly, the two forms of admiration and love contrast and complement each other, where on the one hand the husband cannot contain his feelings of love and the fear of loss and utters it through that song, where on the other hand, the doctor and the girl exchange so much without uttering a single word of admiration. That shows how love takes on forms. The subtlety of it and also the outburst of it.
The realistic images in the story are stark and vivid. Conveyed through the mundane hospital life, the lack of resources, the jealousy and the urge to pull people down which is rampant, the solace that the doctor finds in his profession, and the comfort that the doctor and the girl experience in each other's presence are so aptly presented. The very truth about life itself, the uncertainty of it persists throughout the story. The constant portrayal of the cycle of life and death never ceases, for whenever someone survives, there's someone else dying and that goes on to remind us of how life and death are just two sides of the same coin. The story is in a way exemplary of the actuality of human lives, the humdrum of it, and the beauty in life we sometimes manage to find in between.
Lastly, what makes the story so impactful and doesn't even for an instance breaks the reader's flow are the language of the story, the beauty of the literary devices used and the structuring of the story. The simplicity of the language, and the dropping off of unnecessary flowery terms, increases the appeal and the reach of the story manifold. The minute details-- be that in the description of the characters' appearances or their personal lives, be it the details of every other action of the characters, the durations of the day mentioned, the medical terms used, or every step taken to save a life; be it the doctor's measures to save the girl, or the husband's to save his wife, or the girl's to save the other patient-- everything so strongly culminate into bringing the story into life. It's almost similar to having a cinematic experience. I personally love the part where the doctor and the girl go on to dream different dreams but how the separate dreams go on to become two patches of the same dreamwork, how they become one when they gradually move towards the image of the spring. The image of the saline bottles around the girl's bed is so aptly used twice to bring out two different situations and connotations. And all this more than anything exemplifies your genius as a writer. You so brilliantly weaved a plethora of emotions into storytelling, making it appear so simple at the surface, but so thoughtful and full of perceptive insights when probed upon. Take a bow!
The anonymous Reader
Dex
Here is the link of story
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